Last year, I wrote a post about ageing.
I just discovered another great entry for that post!
The discovery was made while playing Yakuza 6, which as I mentioned in my previous post, is the PlayStation game I’m currently obsessed with. Specifically, it’s one of the girly mini-games, the live-cam chatting one. During this, I have to get the girl, ahem, passionate. If I succeed, well, my eyes are in for a feast.
All screenshots are copyright property of Sega.
Let me get the awkward part out of the way first. My jaw dropped when I walked into this mini-game. NOT because I’m a sleazebag, of course not. The mini-game is solid proof of the awesome power of the PS4. It’s like, the girl is not a 3D model. It’s a real babe. A REAL Japanese babe. And while there are only two to choose from, each comes with tens of videos. Get them high … I mean, loving enough, and you get to enjoy hours of show. All else aside, isn’t that great value for money for a game? It’s like a festive 2-1 sale!
Here’s what happened. I ended each chat gasping for air and with trembling hands. NOT because I was, you know, but because the whole challenge is based on the thing I fear most in modern games. QUICK TIME EVENTS.
Each time those blasted symbols flashed, I entered into a wild panic in the struggle to punch the correct sequence. No matter how I stared at the PlayStation controller in advance to memorise, I still needed to look at the screen while hitting the buttons. No thanks to this, I never had the chance to even glance at the babe while doing playing the mini-game. Of course, I also couldn’t read the sexy nonsense I was spewing at her. It was all I could do not to drop the controller in panic.
Worse, I stayed so jumpy after each sequence, I couldn’t tear my eyes off the box where the symbols appear. Very quickly, I started praying for the babe to just stop yakking and bring on the next sequence. Just shut up, wouldn’t you? SHUT UP! Who cares about you feeling warm?! Who cares about what you did in the day? Just bring on the next run, damn you! Bring it on!!!!!
I should stick to tamer games. I’m obviously past my prime for such complicated excitement. 🙁
The English version for Yakuza 0, the prequel, was released two months after Yakuza 6. Check out my list of favourite substories from that game!