Kiryu Kazuma is always referred to as Ossan / Ojisan in Yakuza 6. Like him, I'm unfortunately also an Ossan. :(

Gaming Quirkiness 2: I’m Too Aged for Yakuza 6 Live Cam Sexiness – Jan 31, 2017

Last year, I wrote a post about ageing.

I just discovered another great entry for that post!

The discovery was made while playing Yakuza 6, which as I mentioned in my previous post, is the PlayStation game I’m currently obsessed with. Specifically, it’s one of the girly mini-games, the live-cam chatting one. During this, I have to get the girl, ahem, passionate. If I succeed, well, my eyes are in for a feast.

All screenshots are copyright property of Sega.

The Yakuza 6 live cam chatting minigame.
The Yakuza 6 live cam chatting minigame.

Let me get the awkward part out of the way first. My jaw dropped when I walked into this mini-game. NOT because I’m a sleazebag, of course not. The mini-game is solid proof of the awesome power of the PS4. It’s like, the girl is not a 3D model. It’s a real babe. A REAL Japanese babe. And while there are only two to choose from, each comes with tens of videos. Get them high … I mean, loving enough, and you get to enjoy hours of show. All else aside, isn’t that great value for money for a game? It’s like a festive 2-1 sale!

Many, many videos can be viewed after you unlock them.
Many, many videos are available for viewing once you unlocked them.

Here’s what happened. I ended each chat gasping for air and with trembling hands. NOT because I was, you know, but because the whole challenge is based on the thing I fear most in modern games. QUICK TIME EVENTS.

Quicktime typing. Of all the things!
Quicktime typing. Of all the things!

Each time those blasted symbols flashed, I entered into a wild panic in the struggle to punch the correct sequence. No matter how I stared at the PlayStation controller in advance to memorise, I still needed to look at the screen while hitting the buttons. No thanks to this, I never had the chance to even glance at the babe while doing playing the mini-game. Of course, I also couldn’t read the sexy nonsense I was spewing at her. It was all I could do not to drop the controller in panic.

Worse, I stayed so jumpy after each sequence, I couldn’t tear my eyes off the box where the symbols appear. Very quickly, I started praying for the  babe to just stop yakking and bring on the next sequence. Just shut up, wouldn’t you? SHUT UP! Who cares about you feeling warm?! Who cares about what you did in the day? Just bring on the next run, damn you! Bring it on!!!!!

I should stick to tamer games. I’m obviously past my prime for such complicated excitement. 🙁

Ryu ga Gotoku 6 screenshot
The Yakuza 6 live cam feature is obviously not for me!


The English version for Yakuza 0, the prequel, was released two months after Yakuza 6. Check out my list of favourite substories from that game!


About Scribbling Geek

The geek divides his free time between video games, movies, anime, and attempting to write decent short stories. Oh, and trying not to sprain his fingers from playing demisemiquavers on his Electone.

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