A taste of how Stormtroopers feel like, after an IPL treatment.
After sitting on it for months, I’ve finally decided to get a skin treatment done and over with.
It’s for a condition known as Telangiectasia. Nope, this is not some creepy-crawly infection that makes me resemble a living dead. It’s mostly benign, albeit terribly unsightly, and is characterised by red blotches and markings on the skin. You’d probably know it immediately by its common name. Spider veins.
Yeah. I have spider veins on my upper arms and chest. Though mine don’t exactly resemble veins or spiders, they look more like … … Never mind.
Anyway, the procedure recommended by the dermatologist was Intense Pulsed Light, or IPL in short. How IPL works is that it penetrates the skin to heat and destroy the underlying dilated blood vessels, these being the culprits for the redness and what-have-you. (I could be describing this terribly) Within weeks, the overheated and decimated blood vessels would be reabsorbed by the body, resulting in voila! Baby skin! Well, not exactly baby skin. But at least decent, un-sickly looking skin.
Yeah … Decent looking skin.
Oh, I ought to mention IPL doesn’t cost as much as I expected it to. It’s no tiny sum either, to be honest, but it’s far from the bank breaking procedure I thought it would be.
And oh, one more thing. It hurts. Yes! Light can hurt.
I mean, I know IPL hurts after researching about IPL online. Based on what I’ve read, though, I thought it would be some sort of a mild, tingly sensation. It’s nowhere near mild, trust me. In fact, I think some websites described it quite accurately by likening the sensation to being snapped by a rubber band. Someone’s very taut, very thick rubber band. Given a cooling gel was applied during the procedure, and the treated area itself smeared with an anesthesia cream for an hour beforehand, I can only assume the actual discomfort is far more intense. Overall, while everything was not unbearable, I find a blood test far worse, it’s no breezy walk in the park too. I would have yelped like a puppy, had my doctor not stoically count-downed before each “blast.”
Or shots. He calls it shots. Most literature describes the procedure as a series of shots too. More shots are obviously required for more severe conditions.
Here’s the thing. The mind thinks of the most ridiculous things during, ahem, trauma, doesn’t it? Here’s what I thought of. Stormtroopers. Or more specifically, Stormtroopers getting blasted. The weakest blaster shot in Star Wars is probably like, a hundred times stronger than an IPL shot, yes? Dear Lord. Even if the burn from that doesn’t kill outright, the shock would be more than enough to put any Stormtrooper into cardiac arrest. Really gives me a new perspective about these ever-suffering foot soldiers of the Empire, after having a one per cent taste of it today. For the first time in my life, I actually detest those nasty rebellious rebels for always hurting hapless Stormtroopers this way.
W…wait a sec. Stormtroopers use the same blasters too, don’t they? Set to maximum power. And they wouldn’t be shot so often had they been … better. Hmm. Maybe the treatment today burned more than me unsightly spider veins.